Managing Defeat

In my article "The Chewing Gum analogy" I had written about equianimity and the attitude of a chewing gum.And like everything in life it is always like things are easier said than done.How to stay equianimous and face defeat?Well until I faced a real defeat in life I could not write about it.
So here comes how do we actually manage defeat?

For that we will see what is defeat actually?
Defeat comes in different forms=>polymorphisms!!!

i)There are instances in life where you get defeated no matter how hard you try.For example a friend of mine got excellent marks in the XII entrance but still he could not succeed in getting an MBBS seat because those seats were reserved.With tears of blood he watched people with lesser marks getting admission.But this is also a form of defeat cause you feel dissapointed cause you did not get it though you deserved it.

In this instance we can say it is dissapointing and frustrating but then the attitude towards it can be like this: I did my best and still I did not get it so it means there is something much better awaiting me.We must move forward with the attitude that OK I did not get an opportunity to climb the Kanchenjunga cause I am climber who can conquer the everest.God always reserves the best for the last.So we can move forward with patience,awaiting and working toward a better tommorrow

ii)Then next comes defeat which you just cannot reason out why
(I am assuming the male gender this is equally applicable for the other sex also)
An amusing example can be that of a guy who gave all his heart for a girl and she chooses somebody else.Let us assume that this guy is of fine character,good breeding and balanced.
But still she did not choose him.Why?Well nature works in strange ways.The girl chooses that guy for reasons which only she knows.Even God cannot mess with free will.So what should be the attitude of this guy?Just because team India lost inspite of Sachin scoring a century does not mean that Sachin is not the best batsman.It is difficult to accept but life has to move forward.There is no use brooding over and breaking your head about what went wrong cause you will not be able to understand no matter how hard you try.
Heard melodies are sweet but those unheard are sweeter.Just like case i)God must have decided hey this guy is just too good for this girl.She will not be able to manage such a guy.I have designed a more compatible person for him.And yes lets not be unjust to the girl cause she got the best one she can manage and is compatible.A Toyota cannot run if it is fitted with a ferrari engine and vice versa.This does not mean Toyota or Ferrari is a bad car.Each is a class apart and serves its own purpose.So he must decide Ok I am a ferrari and let me race forward in life cause I am born to race and win a grand prix and not like the toyota->ride smoothly and put children to sleep!!!

iii)Real Defeat due to lack of planning,purpose and preparation.This is the most serious of the three but easiest to handle cause yes we are the culprits. Here we should have the attitude of a real postmortem.We must unforgivingly and impartially analyse why we went wrong.We must learn from others,adopt effective study and problem solving techniques.A sense of application and purpose is a must.

Above all no defeat/problem in life is worth losing ones sleep. We must have an attitude of surender to God and a deep sense of acceptance.Only inner change can only help cause we cannot just change the surroundings.

One Chewing gum is over whether it is success or failure.
We must move on in this glorious journey called life looking forward to better,happier,exciting and wonderous journeys ahead.
We deserve the best!!!

Problem Solving

Whenever we get a problem,for most of us the problem becomes a part of my psyche and that is the biggest problem.Slowly as I develop some really thick skin in the IT industry I begin to understand that a problem(may it be a bug/life/someone else's problem) is a seperate entity to be tackled and once we dissociate ourself from the problem it becomes easier to solve.

I usually follow this method when I get a problem I used to move away from myself and observe me from a third person's perspective treating me as an object faced with another object called problem.In this way I am able to take an unbiased view and yes dissociate myself from it.This removes anxiety and personal bias especially when it comes to life problems.

Every problem has a life cycle,the start where the actual problem is pose here it is as big as an unknown godzilla(God's illa->You feel even God is not there to help)
then is the understanding phase where we actually know the problem,then comes understanding the cause and then root cause and finally when the problems root cause is undertstood its almost solved that is when you get the smile on the face(I knew it look)

Some people are better problem solvers that is because they have perfected the art of solving it.I believe it is in the process that the key lies.Each person has got some "best practices" when it comes to problem solving and it will be good if all of you people reading this can put in yours as comments so that i will compile all this and perhaps release it as a book!!!

The Chewing Gum analogy

"Success and Failure are both two great imposters" is a very famous quote....
Life is to live no doubt but the attitude we take towards life is more important.
In Life there is no permanent joy similarly there is no permanent sorry.

Life will be more easy to handle if we consider each instance of life as a chewing gum....where in we chew the gum till the juice remains.Every moment of life is a learning experience.We must take only the happiness/good out of the instance and enjoy it to the fullest.we should at the same time imbibe what it has to give.We should however remain unaffected(thats difficult of course).

Most of us are either guilty of swallowing it or letting the remnants "stick on"
We tend to forget that the chewing gum was/is/will never be part of us.Most of us are guilty of either resting on laurels or moaning on sorrow....

So if we consider life like this and disallow any instant to affect us....life will be an interesting game where we look forward to more challenges and put both success and failure behind us....

So lets move ahead lets make life more chewie....

EverNew Joy

I have always been pondering over the fact that for most of us God is a matter of convenience that is only when we are stuck or are in trouble do we seek God...so if we are happy then there is no need of God at all?!!

I read an excellent book - "The Science of Relegion" -Sri Paramahamsa Yogananda

This was an eye-opener to me.If God is not part of our daily life then there is no need for God.So what is God?What is Relegion?

He says that

"whatever we do the ultimate objective is to remove pain or gain pleasure.This quest of mankind is to acheive permanent bliss i.e a state which is supreme pleasure without an iota of pain.However even sleep is such a state.So the state has to be one of which we are aware.Death is permanent sleep and none of us like to die.So God is this state of Immortal Bliss with complete awareness.That is called Sat-Chit-Ananda This quest towards acheiving that state is called Relegion."

So whatever we do is towards fulfilling that ultimate objective.So we can say all scientists,atheletes,people working in any sphere are all highly religious.
So we can say that there are no atheists in this world and very few really relegious.

The real objective of all Relegions is also the same.Only thing is we have missed the forest for the trees!!!

So God is in every respect omniscient,Omnipresent and Omnipotent cause we are all at every moment engaged in reaching that state.Now I understand Tat Tvam Asi meaning YOU ARE THAT!!!

So what we do is in search for happiness then why not be happy this instance itself.
Then I guess every part of Life becomes a celebration,every work a worship and every acheivement an offering.

Unheard words

I wonder how many people does a man/woman meet in his/her life....well guess there are generally the following categories....people who we
I)just meet say Hi ....Then Bye
ii)meet,talk about the weather may be general politics get to know each others name's and yes Bye
iii) ii)+ meet sometime down the line and slowly build acquaintaince
iv)iii) plus an email(usually forwards) once in a while on topics of general interest
v)slowly some acquaintances continue to keep in touch.....
vi)some of v) get into a closer loop
vii)finely filtered and they are friends

Then after the 7 doors(strange 7 hills of Shabarimala,7 doors of Vaikundam....hmmm some celestial significance....)are real core friends atleast thats how it is for me.......

But then at each level I find there are people who have made indelible lasting impressions.I have wondered why they never came through the next door!!!Well I guess most people did shut the door on me...ha ha ha ...I did not have to do it...

Seriously analyzing I find I did want a few of them who made these subtle impressions to come to my core group....iam interested in the around 50% of these who shut the door on me....kya hua yahaaan?????

I guess people who left me at <=level 4 or 5 never got to know much about me...
so that leaves say around 25% who did get in but got out....why why why?
probably level 5 they understood that they I don't share their interests....fine so may be they found me a bore...since we did not have common interests...ok so that leaves say around 5-10% who did get close to me but then opted out.....

It is this 5-10% say a liltle down level 6-7 that Iam baffled....they did know me but then closed the door....so therein lies the question why?

Ego conflicts?Difference of opinion?Fed up of me? hmmmm......no idea cause they never told me the reason....I guess those who came out of level 7 were those who
had differences but sorted it out with me.....perhaps if the others too had done the same I would have been better than what Iam.

Anyway all said and done...i do wonder why some left with unsaid words which echo somewhere within the closed doors of their hearts....leaving behind them a deafening silence......

May be just a minute or two...perhaps a slap would have made that fine difference
and may be they would have been one among my best people...but then Life is Like that
Man Proposes.....God and yes people too dispose............!!!!!!!

Life is Like This!!!!

I am on solid earth...rock solid that is...got some time now...anyway i will satrt blogging regularly from now on...I was just wondering I used to consider life as a what it is...
In school....well go to school,come back home,do homework,get marks.........
In college...a little more serious....get some recognition...only way get marks since I did not have any other "assets" to my credit...still life was fine since everybody was fine with it....there was pressure when I found ok now I have to get placed thru campus and WIPRO was end of the road for me...i got it...of course i had to slog a lot still that was well fine...the came the University rank....fine....then was the thought of PhD....felt emptiness there...then a little pressure but still I knew i will get into WIPRO and then i joined everything as fine..

Now when I am working i feel endammmooooo work pressure...deadlines is fine no problems..there are teething issues...but then now I have to think what next???
And I have to decide that like a MAN.....

Career...what do i settle for?this itself or should i find someother company or should i go for higher studies??
Life...now I guess I am a pillar in my family for I see that they are a little more comfortable....so what do I do....swaroop shuold get stabilised...2nd year next year for him..I hope he gets serious....hmmm...perhaps after that i will agin go for higher studies???!!!!
Finally marriage...when..how what...I don't want to lend a thought...it makes me scary...I find it difficult to manage myself even.....

The BIG difference I feel between college and work now is that now whatever I do there is so much at stake....responsibility...some times I feel I should not have grown up...but then there is a feeling of having reached a stage where u are happy that u are able to contribute....of having become a MAN....

So life is like this...I used to wonder what people meant by saying "Life is not an easy joke"....correction.....
This is Life...nothing is easy and certainly no jokes......
Now I understand what God meant when he said Man will have to earn his daily bread and toil....(when he cursed Adam and Eve)
Atleast I won't have 'EVE's' pain..ha ha ha thank God I am a MAN!!!

But still I believe Life--->Enjoy Maaaadi!!!!!!!!...Find enjoyment in whatever u do....I don't have a choice here ..ha ha ha

Me @ WIPRO Technologies

I have not posted for long kyon ki Iam busy working at WIPRO Technologies...employed here as project Engineer in Toshiba ODC working on my first project....hmmmm this is perhaps not the first time I am staring as an underdog anyway I have a l;ong way to go before I become a pisthu....all experienced people around me

Apparom we will be shifting to Sarjapur...before that Electronic City is a beautiful place and wonderful food.My team is cool.Arun San(Sir in japanese) is my Team Lead and Renji San my PM.Team full aaa Tamil thaaaan dhool...pinne edekke mallus fir thoda hindi...a conglomerate of tongues.

Everyday I leave at 7:20 AM from my room and reach at 11:30PM wow tahts a lot of work.As of now documentation...not yet into coding its ok.

Lot of professionalism and commitment shown by people to work...even iam amazed!!!!
Met all my former project people koteswar Ji Venky san and of course Shalini chechi...all are in heights of management...hoping to be there!!!!

Lonely Predator

We are alone not only in the Universe but also on Earth. We humans are alone with none to challenge, none to be afraid of and without a natural enemy we are loners. Every living thing which walks this Earth has a natural predator to fear, defend and fight in order to survive. Perhaps our ancestors had to struggle and now we are enjoying the fruits of emperorhood.

So what are we doing now? We will see the child analogy.The first instinct of a child when it is given a toy is to destroy it. That is what we have done. We have managed to tame, hunt, skin and kill mercilessly almost all creatures for some reason or the other and have given them “sancturies”. What does the same child do after it has destroyed all toys? Exactly….. fight with its brother. The child as it grows first starts fighting for attention among its parents. Then it leaves home starts quarelling for want of dominance among friends. Then starts the teen years where it starts fighting for anything and everything. Then marriage and children and the fight is not only for one but for the entire family.Then it matures and fights in a more polished fashion-competition in essence cold wars. And finally once we have won over most of our enemies we realize we are old enough so what do we do, create new “enemies” (doesn’t matter if real or imaginary)for those who are below us . Then we watch in glee(who said old age is not second childhood). Then unknown and out of the blue comes an enemy born out of all misdeeds. The more the misdeeds the more terrible(diseases) it is, one final enemy called death.
Our eventful life becomes quite an uneventful affair when we quietly succumb to this all conquering opponent.

Following the above analogy we see as that the whole mankind has been traversing the path of a man . The quarell at home boils and we successfully eliminate our own brothers and once we achieve this we carry it over to the neighbourhood and it is this …for want of a horse shoe nail the country was lost…in other words for want of a toy a country was destroyed. Initially wars were a spill out of the age old struggle for survival where due to lack of resources we started searching for greener pastures. We did find them and instead of sharing it, greed overtook us and we destroyed all our fellow beings. This was during the imperialist days. Then came the age wherein we became “ashamed “ of our fellow beings and established classes and relegions based on skin color and method of worship. We gave it a civilized name- “civilization”. Words like “killed a nigger” became routine. Then we broadened our vision-global domination by elimination. This was during the world war wherin we killed millions of our brothers for being born under relegions which we created. Then after the world wars we reached into numerous settlements,agreements and we divided the whole world not by one or two classes but using advanced classification techniques and theories which we ourselves do not understand. Then came a more matured war – the cold war . Wars were fought using proxies just for the show of world dominance.Now we have reached a stage where all our misdeeds will come in the form of destruction. Seeds of disaster sown through ages will start coming to get at us (Terrorism in the name of relegion and territory for example).


But a good man is one who has been inculcated with noble values like Love,truth and sacrifice. And such a man dies in glory. Lets use our age old gift-the one which has seperated us from other creatures and given us dominance-our wisdom. Lets inculcate the spirit of universal love and brotherhood. Lets remember what we have forgotten in our ages long struggle. We are all humans above all classifications. Humanity in its pure form is the most precious thing in this universe.Let our sons and daughters grow to be true human beings respecting and believing in only one truth called humanity so that Earth will again be humane and mankind will remain immortal.

This is Mata Amritanandamayi Devi,My GURU,my guiding light.To me and millions of people she is the Universal Mother-AMMA 

This is my Grandfather,a role model,an inspiration in effect he is my GOD 

Reservation

In a world driven by competition,“quality” is the mantra.Ours is a country led by “paradoxial” ideas.One side we talk of being secular-“equality for all”. But again we have this reservation system where there is “percentage” reservation. I would call it “preferential” reservation because the system has not been able to serve the actual needy. This system was to be valid for a limited period of time to “compensate” those who were downtrodden and had to eat the dust of the “superior” classes during the British Raj.Though the “idea” was good, the implementation has been dragging along. It is like promoting the continued use of medicines which has lasted its expiry period. The medicine now becomes a poison.

Is/Has the system really done its job? A simple example- say a candidate gets a job by his “rightful” reservation . His family is now able to progress. But the system does not stop there, his son and a multitude of generations to follow(thankfully) get the same treatment meaning the “backward” communities “inherit” their rights.So a seat which has to go to a deserving candidate goes to the son/daughter of a person who is now well to do. That is why I call it “preferential” reservation. “Reserve” for the “deserving” should have been the rule. The bow of law as usual has been bent and broken to string the desires of the “unworthy” . There are always instances of members of a lower community “depromoting”to a further lower level to get extra rights. Moreover they get to “compete” in the “open” category also. Due to this,deserving people who have the quality are often displaced by undeserving and no quality individuals. Reservation for minorities have ensured that the majority have no voice in the country. How do we expect our country to improve in quality when the foundation is made of low grade variety?

The British Raj was an autocratic rule where classes and social divisions were used cunningly to promote “divide and rule” policy. But now in India which proclaims to bea soverign socialist secular republic, it is high time that such divisions are removed.The system was according to the constitution constituted for a limited period of 10 years.But convenient politics and the so called voice of the downtrodden have been playing “dirty” sorry “political” games to give continued extensions .All this for the sake of votes. Money,corruption and fights for political gains have fuelled furthur damage.As I said earlier, the medicine of reservation is long past its expiry date and has begun to poison the very soul of democracy.

A policy of reservation where reservation is given to the poor without basis on caste,creed and relegion will serve the purpose. I do not intend to support the “upper “classes or malign the “lower” classes. Casteism and relegious divide has long since corrupted our minds. Let democracy be democracy in creed ,word and deed. But who is listening? Since I do not have a reservation I did not have the need to “reserve” my comments .

Synthesis of Science and Spirituality

Hi,
I read the book "The Da Vinci Code" written by Dan Brown.The book was very interesting however what happened in the aftermath proved more interesting.Iam doing my final semester Msc Software Engg at the Amrita Institute of Technology,Coimbatore.Iam involved in a project work which necessiates me to go to the Amrita School of Business everyday.I heard a heated debate/argument among 2 people->both had read Da Vinci Code.One was a guy who kept accusing the other for having "belief" and "faith" and that these two had no scientific evidence.The other said "faith" is "beyond reason"...and so on.I saw science pooh pooh'ing relegion and vice versa.I was pondering over it(I wanted to take an impartial view)when I realized that the two who were arguing had not in fact read the mission statement of our college->the underlying principle is synthesis of science nad spirituality.
So to have a synthesis we must have homogeneous substances...that which can mix.But how can that happen when both are at war with the other. Where in do we find a homogenity?Well it is simple.All we have to do is look at the aim of both.The quest of both Science and Spirituality has always been the same->finding out what/who we are?I would say the basic problem we find here is that we consider both as different whereas in fact Science and Spirituality are 2 sides of the same coin(the quest to find out the TRUTH about ourselves).Perhaps Dan Browns another book "Angels and Demons" is an eye opener in this respect.
A simple example.Research in science is single minded search+analysis+dedication to a field of study.Tapasya in Spirituality is again single minded search+analysis+dedication to a field of study,here the field of study being GOD.So who/what is GOD?All of us know the phrase "we are made in the image of GOD"."Thou art that"(Tat Tvam Asi)from spirituality(religious texts).Science says the essence of all matter is the same.We are in fact using only 5% of our brain and we will achieve super human feats if we are able to acheive 100%.So we again find that both are in essence trying to explain the same.Mankind has been in its quest for perfection and as he evolves and attains perfection he then perceives the whole world as his own being-> a Universal mind.Again I saw a recent science article which says "The universe is all mind stuff"...and isn't that called MAYA????
So from the above I believe science and spirituality are literally one and the same->a quest towards TRUTH and perfection and the union of science and spirituality will take place only at its culmination when mankind attains perfection by learning nay understanding the TRUTH.

The inner "Jehad"

The whole world has now found a synonym for "Jehadis" ->"Terrorists".
Speaking from a very secular view point we do have to analyse what Jehad is.
Every human being has 2 sides, the good and the bad.It is always an inner struggle
for mankind battling the Mr.Hyde hiding within.We know that the mind is like a monkey
always jumping towards sense objects,but again there is nothing in the universe as powerful
as the mind.To make the mind focussed on "Good" requires alert discrimination or Shraddha.
I believe this inner struggle which began right from the time mankind evolved is called "Jehad".
So all of us are "Jehadis".Just because of a few misguided(comparitively),brainwashed and blinded section who have lost their very identity as humans we cannot blame an entire relegion.In essence every relegion is pure and deserves veneration.It is we the followers who malign them by making convenient "interpretations" and use them for our own ends.So "jehad" is over when we have won victory over our true enemy->ourselves.