Thursday, March 08, 2007

Managing Defeat

In my article "The Chewing Gum analogy" I had written about equianimity and the attitude of a chewing gum.And like everything in life it is always like things are easier said than done.How to stay equianimous and face defeat?Well until I faced a real defeat in life I could not write about it.
So here comes how do we actually manage defeat?

For that we will see what is defeat actually?
Defeat comes in different forms=>polymorphisms!!!

i)There are instances in life where you get defeated no matter how hard you try.For example a friend of mine got excellent marks in the XII entrance but still he could not succeed in getting an MBBS seat because those seats were reserved.With tears of blood he watched people with lesser marks getting admission.But this is also a form of defeat cause you feel dissapointed cause you did not get it though you deserved it.

In this instance we can say it is dissapointing and frustrating but then the attitude towards it can be like this: I did my best and still I did not get it so it means there is something much better awaiting me.We must move forward with the attitude that OK I did not get an opportunity to climb the Kanchenjunga cause I am climber who can conquer the everest.God always reserves the best for the last.So we can move forward with patience,awaiting and working toward a better tommorrow

ii)Then next comes defeat which you just cannot reason out why
(I am assuming the male gender this is equally applicable for the other sex also)
An amusing example can be that of a guy who gave all his heart for a girl and she chooses somebody else.Let us assume that this guy is of fine character,good breeding and balanced.
But still she did not choose him.Why?Well nature works in strange ways.The girl chooses that guy for reasons which only she knows.Even God cannot mess with free will.So what should be the attitude of this guy?Just because team India lost inspite of Sachin scoring a century does not mean that Sachin is not the best batsman.It is difficult to accept but life has to move forward.There is no use brooding over and breaking your head about what went wrong cause you will not be able to understand no matter how hard you try.
Heard melodies are sweet but those unheard are sweeter.Just like case i)God must have decided hey this guy is just too good for this girl.She will not be able to manage such a guy.I have designed a more compatible person for him.And yes lets not be unjust to the girl cause she got the best one she can manage and is compatible.A Toyota cannot run if it is fitted with a ferrari engine and vice versa.This does not mean Toyota or Ferrari is a bad car.Each is a class apart and serves its own purpose.So he must decide Ok I am a ferrari and let me race forward in life cause I am born to race and win a grand prix and not like the toyota->ride smoothly and put children to sleep!!!

iii)Real Defeat due to lack of planning,purpose and preparation.This is the most serious of the three but easiest to handle cause yes we are the culprits. Here we should have the attitude of a real postmortem.We must unforgivingly and impartially analyse why we went wrong.We must learn from others,adopt effective study and problem solving techniques.A sense of application and purpose is a must.

Above all no defeat/problem in life is worth losing ones sleep. We must have an attitude of surender to God and a deep sense of acceptance.Only inner change can only help cause we cannot just change the surroundings.

One Chewing gum is over whether it is success or failure.
We must move on in this glorious journey called life looking forward to better,happier,exciting and wonderous journeys ahead.
We deserve the best!!!